Personal Post: I Use My Past To Drive Me Not As An Excuse!

no matter where you started, you can change where you are going!

There was a day in college, I think my second year, when I realized I was different than a lot of my friends. Everyone else was getting ready to go to a party on a Friday night. Meanwhile, I was getting ready for bed, because I had to get up at 2:30am the next morning to go to work at the Philadelphia Airport.

They were all singing to the music, and putting some of their best outfits on! They were having the time of their lives, and were just so carefree! I sat back and watched, at first out of jealousy, but that quickly evolved into admiration. I admired that they could be so carefree and HAPPY!

I want to say this now…this is not “Poor Me” post! -Amanda

At the time I was about 19 years old and had been working since I was in 8th grade. Working was actually an escape for me. It was where I had the most control, I knew the better job I did the more I could make. The more I made, the more I could do. So, I worked a lot. I worked my way through college, buying all my own books, food, clothes… and since I was a photography major film, developing, cameras, memory cards and whatever else I needed to complete my classes. I also signed for a lot of student loans, knowing it was my only way out of the life I was in.

I hadn’t come from a family you could call up and ask for a few bucks to go out. I actually didn’t even know that was a thing until college, when I would see roommates call their mom so they could go grab pizza because they were short a few bucks. It was a reality I never missed because I didn’t know it existed. So, I didn’t get upset about it, I instead worked more and found power in my independence.

I became strong and fought harder for the things I wanted because , to me, I had to. I didn’t feel like I had a choice to be weak. Being weak meant failing, and I didn’t see failure as an option.

To be continued…..

Amanda * November 2, 2023